Scottish Twitter Is Filled With Hilarious Sentiments We Barely Understand

Ah Canna Understand a Werd

Via @_dylanjohnstone on Twitter

Scotland is known for lots of things: beautiful scenery, friendly people, kilts, bagpipes, golf, and those big furry cows with massive horns. Scottish people are also known for their lovely brogue; a lilting, melodious accent that's a little bit like British English gone wild. While we're fairly certain we'd have a hard time understanding Scots if we were to visit their country, we were shocked to learn that many Scottish people on the internet also write exactly as they speak. That is to say, we can't understand their written language any better than we can understand the spoken, especially on Scottish Twitter.

On social media, we're able to read the sentiments of native Scottish speakers, and we've learned that the good people of Scotland have a unique way with words and a hilarious life view. Their resulting tweets are a true thing of beauty. The way they craft their tweets is often profane and lacking even a glimmer of grammar and punctuation, but you can hear the accent in the text.

With 358,000 subscribers on Reddit's r/Scottish Twitter and 112,000 followers on the official Scottish Twitter page, it seems lots of people online enjoy its brash, witty offerings. We don't really know what they're saying, but one thing is for sure: it's funny!

01
of 20

Now That You Mention It

Via @harleycampbll on Twitter 

"£12.99 tae look like a bit a ravioli"

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02
of 20

Not Very Helpful

Via @SloanPerry on Twitter

"When you push a pull door and the person behind you says 'you need to pull' aye cheers lad sure next plan was to start lifting from the bottom"

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03
of 20

Yeah, What He Said

Via Getty Images/easyy 

"Mad how yie get 6 points and a £200 fine for being on yer phone yet there's folk oot there way eyelashes on there motor n getting away wae it"

04
of 20

Don't Make Me a Part of Your "Teachable Moment!"

Via @ryankingg on Twitter 

"Just seen a bird shoutin at her bairn to put his pants on then pointed at me sayin 'look the mans gonna steal ur willy.' Wtf no am no"

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05
of 20

Probably the Most Scottish Thing Ever

Via @_dylanjohnstone on Twitter

"Just oot the post office n they asked ma auntie if she had any other ID wae her n she went 'av got this keyring that says Karen n it" :)))

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06
of 20

Happens Every Time

Via @Poshboy97

"Can't be dealing wi waiters that ask how yeer meal is as yer scoffing ur gob full of food, it's in yer name f**kin waiter minute"

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07
of 20

Never Underestimate Her Majesty

Via @_rosswhitehead

"Still canny believe the queen won that marathon, wee lightning mcqueen."

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08
of 20

Just Rave Problems

Via @nathann_h on Twitter 

"A boy at avicii telt me his dad died cos of MDMA and when the beat dropped he was proper crying his eyes out shoutin 'ma dad died for this'"

09
of 20

He's Not Wrong

Via Getty Images/Spencer Platt 

"Theresa May looks like the kinda woman when u where younger and your ball went inty her garden she'd get her husband to go oot and burst it"

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10
of 20

We Can See Them

Via @Lavlyjably on Twitter 

"If am hungover or sad ma dug will stand nexty ma bed n stare into ma soul sending me telepathic messages of his love for me to cheer me up"

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11
of 20

Growing Up Is Optional

Via Getty Images/Justin Sullivan

"There's folk ma age having weans and av just had a tub ae Pringles for ma dinner."

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12
of 20

Best Resignation Note Ever

Via @_kaitlynmcgrory on Twitter 

"Nah man my grans notice for leaving her work wish a was kidding on"

"Dear Mr MacGillivray,
Notice of Termination of Employment.
The joab's crap and am leaving.
I'll no be back after June 30th. Canny wait.
Good luck in getting some other mug to clean the place.
Cheers.
Marlene
Yee Ha"

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13
of 20

We're Totally Stealing "Ya Cheeky Boot"

Via @paul_glancy on Twitter 

"Went inty the shop for sweeties after work n the burd said 'you look how a feel pal' you better feel fantastic then ya cheeky boot"

@paul_glancy 

14
of 20

With Friends Like These....

Via nathanhend_97 on Twitter

"Lassie in Gibraltar took my photo while a was off guard, stuck it to a plate and made me buy it fur €6"

15
of 20

Does Anyone Else Hear Merida From "Brave?"

Via Getty Images/Tooga

"Does anyone else's mum always play 120 questions the mornin after you've been out? Who ws there? was it good? did u get a wee kiss? Omg u did dnt lie! Did u get taxi home? How much money did u spend?xxx GET OOT MA ROOM N LET ME SLEEP WUMIN AM SO ROUGH."

16
of 20

Gotta Love a Texting Granny

Via @aaron_brodley7 Twitter 

 "aye perfect gran cheers"

17
of 20

Don't We All

Via @TeiganMair on Twiter 

"Dreadin the day someone gets down on one knee and asks me to marry them cos a have a hefty double chin when a look down"

18
of 20

Not So Lucky

Via Getty Images/Birgit Korber/EyeEm

"Seen a boy in Asda with a bunch of flowers and a woman said "aw whos the lucky girl" and he legit turned roond and was like 'ma grans deed.'"

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19
of 20

They're on to You

Via Getty Images/Michael Barrow Photography 

"Ma sisters just told me her pal canny get Indians delivered cause she lives on Curry Street n they think it's a prank call" 

20
of 20

We Love a Dry Wit (And Wine)

Via @mynamesamy Twitter

"Last year v this year.. glad we’ve matured."

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